The fairer sex
by DrWhy
Summary: "Alex," said Blunt "you're going to train at Breacon Beacons .Take just what you need most." Her name was Alexis.And she was what Alex needed most. NOT A LOVE STORY,BETTER THAN IT SOUNDS. T to be safe
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, I've got a new story for you**

**Disclaimer for the whole . **

"Alex," said Blunt "you're going to train at Breacon Beacons .Take just the bare essentials. What you need most."

Alex Rider didn't meet his sister till after the first mission.

_Yassen raised his hand. A gesture of friendship? A salute? _

_Then ,as the helicopter flew off ,he yelled "Tell your sister that's it's about time you met her."_

_And that's when Alex first saw Alexis_

Obviously Alex hadn't gone on all those missions on his own and _succeeded_.

At Point Blanc, she was under cover, helping him dodge bullets

At Skeleton Key, she had helped kill Conrad. In fact, it was her idea.

In the Air Force One, she had helped Sabina dismantle the missiles.

And when Scorpia came into play…

_Alex was perfectly willing to shoot Mrs. Jones. After all, she HAD ruined his life. No, the reason he couldn't shoot her was his sister. She had joined SCORPIA with him and had received the same training as him, plus some specialized stuff. It had been her mission. Alex was just a tag-along. Truthfully, he was more forgiving and she was more brutal than him. But Mrs. Jones had been friends with her-They had used to live together, and Alexis just couldn't._

After that , they had done everything together…. Including the bullet wound.

Her name was Alexis Rider. And she was what Alex needed most.

**What do you think? I got sick of gender bent Alex and random female spies as love interests. Why doesn't he ever have a twin sister?**

**Updates will be slow, but reviews speed it up!**


	2. Chapter 2

Alexis Rider shook out her long dark hair, had a shower and slipped on a dress. She didn't like pants in general. They were too….restricting. Besides ,she always wore pants on missions because she was always the backup. She couldn't be the undercover guy as she couldn't display emotions. Generally, she always thought stuff through .

But in times of extreme stress or emotion, she had to express them-or lock them up, wearing a 'Poker Face'. Her favorite way of relaxing was singing. Alexis had bipolar disorder. On missions ,she did not display an ounce of emotion, but in life she cried and shouted and threatened blunt and Jones with blasting herself to bits at the drop of a hat .The only people she cared for were Alex ,Ben ,and ,sometimes, Mrs. Jones, who had taken Alexis in when her foster father disappeared .When Alexis was told who her foster Dad was ,she went through an extreme period of emotion and developed bipolar disorder .She hadn't told Alex or Ben who he was, and they didn't push her.

Anyway ,she slipped on a dress and looked at her bucket list

'**Things to do before I Die(Which could be anytime now)**

**Yell at Blunt(would feel sooo good!)**

**Hit Alex with a frying pan (like in tangled!)**

**Chase Ben with a saucepan**

**Get back at those guys who bullied Alex at Breacon Beacons**

"Hopefully I can finish at least on thing on this" thought Alexis as she mixed some pancake batter." Maybe Ben will come" she thought hopefully .

Ben had been their mentor for a couple of missions after Snakehead ,and they were really close. He was the father they never had, and played the part to perfection ,especially after Alexis's

First Date .Now _that_ had been funny.

**Alex POV**

Alex came down to find a half cooked pancake on the counter ,which was the breakfast-time danger signal .He cautiously stepped, armed with a knife, into the kitchen to find…..Alexis pointing a saucepan at Ben .Alex stared at her for an explanation.

They knew each other so well that they could tell what each other were thinking .After a couple of moments staring at each other, the twins dropped their weapons and crushed Ben in a bear hug that would send bears running to mommy. After some time, Alexis glared at Ben .

"Why didn't you come before?" she demanded.

Ben laughed nervously. "Alexis , I hate to break it to you, but I'm hereto take you to Breacon beacons. Didn't Alex tell you?"

Alex claims the frying pan wounds still hurt.

**Like I said,20 reviews in total.**


	3. Chapter 3

Alex looked up from his packing to see his sister dragging a suitcase full of goodies(courtesy of Smithers) and sighed.

"Y'know ,you're only allowed to take one suitcase .Unless, of course, you don't feel the need for some clothes..."

Alexis stuck her tongue out

"Well, they're going to have to make exceptions for me. Otherwise…. I have been wanting to use the *coughcough*toy*coughcough* Ben gave me for my birthday." She smiled sweetly and threw a shuriken at the place Alex's head had been a second ago, and only the exaggerated movement she had made prevented Alex's head from being speared.

Alex POV

"I 'm really worried about sis. She was in one of her moods .Not…. You know…. But even worse .She gets these mood swings. Like on missions, she's all focused on the mission and forgets how to act, which is why she's never undercover ,just backup .And after Jack died...well you remember how she was right? All hyper and 'I want to sing' one second and 'I hate myself I'm going to commit suicide' the next?"

Ben nodded uncomfortably. He saw where this was headed

"Well ,we just finished a mission .A really hard one, which means the bipolarity will kick in harder and…." Alex sighed.

Ben stepped in "So you're saying that you're going to Hell just in time to catch suicidal Alexis?"

Alex shuddered "I wish. We'll be just in time to catch hyper Alexis ." Ben and Alex both shuddered, like someone had walked over their grave.


	4. Chapter 4

Alexis grinned evilly. She felt that her 'Things to do before I Die(Which could be anytime now)' list was going well .As you may or may not recall, it was -

Yell at Blunt(would feel sooo good!)

Hit Alex with a frying pan (like in tangled!)(Completed)

Chase Ben with a saucepan(Completed)

Get back at those guys who bullied Alex at Breacon Beacons

Her time for revenge had come. After a lot of pleading with Ben and very little pleading with Alex (the men had ruined his life)The First Prank had been planned and prepared for.

They set off in the black(duh!)car waving to Ben ,who would come later.

When they reached ,they marched straight to the sergeants office, pulling their suitcases, hiding in the shadows. They managed to reach unseen. Alex put one hand out to knock.

The sergeant had had a busy day dealing with paper work, so when the knock came he said "come in" without giving an upward glance .

As two young people settled down in front of him, he glanced up

"Cub, Cub's sister" he nodded to them before returning to his paperwork.

"CUB!""CUBS SISTER!".Then he regained his composure.

"You must be from ,your codename will remain. Girlie ,here's a list of assigned names .Choose one that isnt on the list and add it with your real name next to it. You'll be assigned to K-unit." He gave a sadistic grin before returning to his paper work. After about half a minute, they handed the list back to the sergeant "Very well" he said .He looked up and nearly choked on his cigar .Alexis had removed her long ankle-length over coat and the outfit under that was the cause of the big reaction. As she applied lipstick, Alex picked up a fat stick with "PROTECTION STICK" on it." She's another package altogether right?" said Alex to the apoplectic sergeant, as he escorted his sister out.


	5. Chapter 5

K unit sat in their cabin, waiting for their new unit members. As if being held back in camp wasn't bad enough, they had to take in three MI6 agents as well. "Curse MI-bloody- do they think they are, first taking Fox and now dumping three of their agents on us!" growled Wolf

"Well" said Eagle quietly "they are the government"

Wolf turned to him with blazing anger, which softened when he saw the look in Eagles eyes. "Sorry" he mumbled .Eagle's

younger sister had worked for the government and had been killed. They had thought she was a banker ,but she was actually part of SO. Eagle had started to open up to a young girl, his neighbour ,but then she had been kidnapped because of her rich parents .He had joined the SAS shortly after.

A young boy with fair hair entered, waving a fat stick with "PROTECTION STICK" on it at the soldiers.

"Stay back!" he said loudly "Don't you dare take another step! How could you? A poor innocent girl!"

K unit stared at him uncomprehendingly

"Umm…. What exactly have we done?" asked Snake.

"Oh so you deny it now do you? Well then see what has happened to this poor child!"

He stepped aside to reveal a girl wearing a hospital gown that hid her real clothes .The boy rushed to her side and held her hand

"I don't remember much" she murmured in a voice just loud enough to be heard "I saw their faces and ….the ugliness…..I don't remember much more…."she trailed away

Wolf scowled "Who are you anyway?"

"This is Black widow, and I didn't think you would forget me so fast!"The boy said, pointing at the girl

Something in the cheeky grin stirred Eagles memory "Cub...?"He asked hesitatingly

"They've hit the nail on the head!" said the girl, as she pulled the hospital gown off to reveal a cam outfit like all the others, modified to fit her properly "I thought you said they were dumb!"

A man stood up ,preventing Wolf from killing the two. "So you're the famous Cub .I'm Zebra. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to know they talk about me"said Cub drily.

Eagle said suddenly "Black widow's too long .Can we call you Kit? y'know...Kit and Cub?"

Kit smiled coyly. "You can call me whatever you want." she gushed "Isn't that right, Cubby dear?" Cub hefted the stick and glared at smacked his arm lightly when she saw,and whispered something to him that made him take up a more relaxed stance.

Wolf growled "Well I hate to interrupt this cozy chat ,but its lights out time. Tomorrow ,your assessment begins."

Btw,kit could be(in relation to animals)

A young ferret,A young rabbit ,A young mink ,A young fox(I like to think its this one :) )

A short form of kitten,


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Guys! I've rewritten the whole story so please re-read it and tell me what you think. Good? Bad?I should give myself up to Scorpia? There are major points in there even if it hasn't been changed that much!**

**On a random note-I've got retainers !And they kinda hurt...**

**Please review even if it has been 10 years since I last posted .Normally I get reviews for two days, then bam. They stop.**

**On with the story!**

Cub and Kit woke to the sound of K unit's snores. "Maybe its time for a prank" smiled Kit.

Cub groaned "I'm too sleepy."

"I'm warning you bro .This mood won't last long and they might be too busy punishing me to notice that I'm trying to kill myself". She said it in such a matter of fact tone that Cub had no doubt about it.

"If I give you an idea will you leave me alone?" She opened her mouth. " Don't answer that. What we'll need is..."

**K-unit**

K-Unit woke half an hour later to the sound of "Its my Life" by Bon Jovi blasting in their ears. Wolf shot up-and hit his head on the bunk above him(they had replaced the beds with bunks to save space)

"OW! What the.." he trailed off." Wait a minute….CUB!"

Cub raised his head "I didn't do it" he slurred sleepily .His sleep had not been disturbed .Kit laughed "Smile for the camera boys!". She clicked a picture. Even the fact that she was a girl barely stopped wolf from grinding her to dust.

After K-unit had extracted themselves from their beds ,they discovered that the music was being played through headphones (which meant the sergeant hadn't heard the music).

The sergeant had summoned Snake and told the others to get breakfast quickly,as they were going to do an exercise immediately after it.T hey ran in for breakfast quite early, which was the reason that there were no quarrels.

After breakfast Snake ran to the Unit and told them to get in the jeep.

"C and H Units are using the course so we are going to 'play' Scotland Yard .It was devised by hide stuff and you find it, then Vice Versa. Except its hidden in a civilian house where you are in disguise. They exchanged hidable Items. Wolf gave a photo of his wife and Kids. Snake gave a rose which was stuck on a bookmark and laminated .Eagle contributed a weird coin.

"My sister gave it to me before she went to US.I never heard from her again". He looked so crestfallen that nobody said anything about his driving(Which was atrocious) .Kit gave a locked diary .Cub gave a watch and together they contributed a tube of leaking zit cream.

"Its time to play"


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! its me! Sorry for not updating for so long!**

"You have 30 minutes to hide the stuff" said Snake. "After that we swap houses and search"

As k unit walked off ,Alex took the bookmark and headed to the garden of the house, while Alexis took the rest and went in.25 minutes later, they met in the front room.

"Well ,luckily for us, the owner does have a vast extension of botanical….stuff ,so I made a decoy and the real one is somewhere they'll never find it" Grinned Alex.

His sister smiled and offered him a couple of delicious looking cupcakes ."Cool .I've put Wolfie dear's pic in the back of one of the photo frames, and I iced a coupl'a cupcakes"

"Your skills are definitely getting better!" said her amazed brother ,cupcake icing all over his mouth .He wiped his mouth and Alexis destroyed the evidence before they headed over to the house that K unit had hidden their stuff.

Smiling as they reached the front path, Alex adjusted his watch and followed the tracker in the watch he had given K unit .Alexis looked in all the rooms till she saw heard a hissing sound coming from the safe. She ran and got a crowbar from the toolshed ,and broke a bit of the wall under the the hollow she had made (under the hole in the safe) lay the tube and the diary.

"I found them both!" she called to her brother "The lazy pigs hid them together!"

The twins walked up to the house K unit was in.

"I wonder if they found any of ours."said Alex

**K UNIT**

K unit had in fact,not found any of the had ransacked the place, but not found a thing.

"where did you put it?"growled Wolf

"Well, arent you possesive?" drawled Kit coolly.

She walked to a photo hanging on the wall and opened the pulled out Wolf's photo and handed it to him.

"I didn't think of that…" said Eagle, almost admiringly.

Kit,who was rummaging in the fridge, didn't say a word, but Cub said cheekily "there are a lot of things you didn't think of."

Eagle turned to see Cub cutting open his shoe. He took out Snake's bookmark and handed it to him.

"That's not fair!" whined Eagle.

"Life isnt fair." said Kit quietly .She was standing upright and everyone was staring at her ."Get used to it"

Cub broke the silence. "Hey Eagle, wanna cupcake?"

Only then did Eagle see the plate Kit was holding, with a lone cupcake one it. His hand grabbed it and put it in his mouth at the speed of light .He chewed in ecstasy for a while, then his face changed to horror. He spat it out, and there was his coin, amidst semi-digested cupcake.

"Ewww!" said Eagle ,much like a schoolgirl might at the sight of a dead rat. "That's kind of…. smart, actually"

"Well, we found all of yours, and you didn't find any of ours, now LETS GO!" yelled Kit from the she got thereso fast, nobody knemw.

K unit looked at Cub(who knew it was probably the bipolarity, but he couldn't say that).

"Its….her time of the month "he said ,blushing even though he knew this was not true.

To his surprise, Snake grinned "Trust me mate ,just listen to whatever she says and don't try to kiss her or she'll bite your head off"

"What!?" said Cub, aghast at the thought of,as snake thought ,not kissing his girl

"You'll live "whispered Snake as they got into the jeep.

But as Alex told Alexis all that had happened, they wondered if that was true.

**Hehehehe im sooooo mean, arent I?**

**tell me how mean I am in a review!:)**


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